Reviews by BAMF

Anna Kendrick means for me this is a must watch. Jake Johnson is definitely one of my faves now due to New Girl. Everybody else is alright. Joe Swanberg has been in a lot of movies I've seen. As a director I have only seen his V/H/S segment. Hmm well all the characters are likable so far. It seems one couple really loves each other while the other seems a bit distant. It really feels like a slice of life sort of film. Not much is really happening while at the same time it feels a good amount of things are happening. I mean I wondered when that would happen. The chemistry between all of them is so strong. I wonder how this will all turn out. How can you turn that down? Of course though it would have been better if Anna Kendrick did it. I figured that was about to happen. These characters have a lot of interesting dynamics among them. He is way more faithful than the other guy. That was a cute little ending. It really is just a slice of life sort of story. Not much happens while still there is a good amount of conflict with certain things. It's enjoyable for what it is.

Anthologies are always fun. It's a mixed bag of excellence, fun, and yes even the occasional crap. This one takes on multiple holidays. I don't think any of the holidays here haven't had some kind of horror film based on them. It's always nice to see someone else's take on an idea. So I'm going to review the segments separately and then share an opinion of it overall.

Valentine's Day written and directed by Kevin Kolsch and Dennis Widmyer

Yeah she doesn't look creepy at all. All the girls are a little unique looking. That girl is just plain cruel. What's he up to? I smell something sinister brewing. Personally that doesn't seem like the smartest decision. Funny enough the scene in the woods reminded me of the Halloween remake. Oh damn that was a pretty good ending. It's an odd little short, but the execution is great. This was made by the guys who did Starry Eyes. I still need to watch that. After seeing this I am curious with what they can do with a feature length film.
6.3/10

St. Patrick's Day written and directed by Gary Shore

Haha oh my kids and their spelling. "Magical whores" ahaha. Looks like we are dealing with another disturbed young lady. Okay that's odd and also quite intriguing. Is that what I think it is? This little girl just like 100 times creepier! Indeed it was what I thought it was. This is definitely stranger than the previous short by like a lot. It's only getting weirder as it goes. Okay the Grease movie thing was unexpected. That's just too strange. Gary Shore also directed Dracula Untold. That was an excellent movie to which this doesn't compare. The acting was good and the idea was unique. I just really couldn't enjoy the awkwardness of it very much.
4.5/10

Easter written and directed by Nicholas McCarthy

How can you go to church and be scared of Jesus coming back from the dead without knowing he was a good man? I'd be more terrified about what's going to happen if she sees the Easter Bunny. Okay so that's peculiar. Whoa that's different. Who exactly are we looking at here? Well that answered that. This is probably the most disturbing depiction of the Easter Bunny in history. It's disturbing and creepy, but honestly I enjoyed this one the most of the three so far. It's way better than the other movie I saw of his called The Pact. It's almost like Pan's Labyrinth. It's a bit shorter side though.
7.7/10

Mother's Day written and directed by Sarah Adina Smith

So she clearly is not ready for children given what was just said. That's definitely a disturbing infliction. Hello ladies! Something is definitely going on. So far this one doesn't quite feel like a horror story. Yes it's got a creepy vibe, but I'm just not feeling horror yet. Well then I can see the horror now. What in the hell!? No don't end it like that! We will never know what the hell just happened!?! Sarah Adina Smith wrote Goodbye World which was pretty good. This one was a bit of a slower paced story. It didn't have a lot of scares, but the vibe was good. Although the ending was abrupt I felt it was a good one.
6.4/10

Father's Day written and directed by Anthony Scott Burns

So I have heard this is the best segment from practically every review I've seen except one. Hopefully it really is that good. Oh never open a mysterious package. When does that ever lead to something good? Hmm it's definitely curious. I wonder what the sinister twist will be. Okay that was definitely a different kind of story than I was expecting. I'm not quite sure what just happened though. Anyways it was a clever short. The atmosphere is creepy and you just know that something isn't going to be right. You just can't figure out what it will be. It makes sense though seeing as the director did work on the very mysterious series called Darknet. Definitely the best of bunch simply because of the cleverness of it.
8/10

Halloween written and directed by Kevin Smith

Okay seeing Harley Morenstein playing a webcam site owner just feels so awkward. Yeah people on those kind of sites are horrible a lot of the time. In a way this is giving off a Girl with the Dragon Tattoo vibe. I miss funny Harley this is just making me uncomfortable. I am rooting for these girls. Revenge is bittersweet. Okay this is extremely dark and disturbing. Oh lord that ending. Wow this was done by Kevin Smith?! I'd have to say if I hadn't seen the name I would have never guessed it. I'm not sure which is more disturbing this or Tusk.
6.9/10

Christmas written and directed by Scott Charles Stewart

Seth Green! Oh how I wish Oz would have stayed on Buffy longer. Oh damn that was messed up. That seems pretty cool. Oh my that's an interesting imagination there. Now it gets disturbing. I have a theory about this now. I did not see that coming. That was a pretty wild ending. This comes from the writer/director of Legion and Dark Skies. He even directed Priest. Most of his films are fine. Legion being my favorite. This one is pretty good as well. Not quite amazing, but it was still pretty good.
7.3/10

New Year's Eve directed by Adam Egypt Mortimer and written by Kevin Kolsch and Dennis Widmyer

Okay well we definitely find out early that this guy has some issues. Well damn that was rude. I can't tell if Lorenza Izzo is hot or not. She is cute, but I don't know if those big eyes have my attention. Well now that killer meets a killer twist was golden! Oh God! Well that was a great ending to quite an interesting segment. I know of the other film by this guy, but I have yet to see it. This is the only segment not to be written by the director. This is my favorite segment of the whole thing.
8.4/10

This was a good anthology. The only one I really didn't like was St. Patrick's Day. Other than that this was a pretty solid watch. I definitely would recommend it for anthology horror lovers. It's a bit of an oddball at times. It's worth it though.

I saw this while scrolling through Netflix. The premise is what caught my interest. So I figured I would go ahead and check it out. I found out it's a SyFy film though. The level of entertainment could vary heavily on this. The director has worked on a few horror films. The most notable being The Hitcher films (the remake of which is terrible). Delondra Williams is notorious for writing horrible TV films like Rise of the Zombies and Zombie Night. She even wrote the awful Asylum parody of Fifty Shades of Grey. The only upside of that was Charisma Carpenter showing some skin haha. The opening definitely proves which company worked on it. Well that was certainly an interesting beginning. The acting isn't the worst I've seen from Syfy. Shep is truly adorable. This town has a large amount of dogs. Some of them are precious. Okay the scene with the cats was actually well done. That's what you get. Holy crap that was messed up and it put me in my feelings. Damn they got messed up. I mean that's why you don't go being selfish. At least the weirdo in love with their dog isn't the usual woman. This guy however needs to die. He is too annoying. Okay that was hilarious. Seriously these people make some pretty bad decisions and such. I liked him until he pulled that move. This little girl is an odd one. Of course everyone is doing a lot of not listening to others. So it could have done without the goofy CGI at the end. For a Syfy movie I actually liked this one. It has its faults and goofiness. It has a few dumb moments. Overall though the whole idea was fairly fun and interesting. I liked most of the characters. The acting was mostly above the normal type for the channel it aired on. I wasn't expecting much and was pleasantly surprised.

From what I remember of the trailer this movie looked like an oddball. It does have some decent actors in it though. Taryn Manning and Natasha Lyonne are both on Orange is the New Black. This is actress Tara Subkoff's directorial and as well as writing debut. Well that was unexpected, but also a little goofy. Definitely an interesting opening credits. It's a bit flashy and might need a warning for people who have seizures. It also moves a bit too fast. Those are some creepy ass masks. There are a lot of internet aspects throughout considering the title and story. It also seems to be slightly mixed in with slot machine like symbols? Ugh rich people are such snobs. Yeah have this conversation while there are several young girls having a sort of party in the house. What a great mother. These so called friends are like the girls from Mean Girls or similar plastic friends movies. This is moving really slowly. Also so far everyone has zero likability. So is Sam or Cat the main girl? They are crazy to be playing with that. These girls are so messed up. I do like this music though. When the phones go away usually means trouble comes right? It's not creepy at all that the killer is also videotaping all these preteens. Too quiet and creepy eh? Well now it just got creepier! Well it certainly got interesting, but not in the way I was hoping for. It only took over an hour for another attack to happen. It's about time. Well that definitely explains her dad's behavior. I mean that was pretty much exactly what I was expecting. They really get hectic whenever someone is getting killed or attacked so you can barely see anything. Francesca had the best death scene. Other than that all the kills were weak or you didn't even see them happen. It's like a horror movie for 12 year olds that they can't even watch due to the characteristics of the girls, cussing, deaths, and such. Yet they probably would be bored as hell by it anyways. The veterans and some of the girls can act. Others were not so good. I think it suffers heavily from the awful script, camerawork, and directing. Do not waste your time with this. It simply has nothing going for it.

A movie about video games starring Maiara Walsh and Lamorne Morris? You better believe you can count me in. This looks like the only credit of Daniel Doherty II let's see how he fairs. This is also the only credit for both of the writers. Game of Thrones and chicken sounds amazing to me. These guys are the weirdest friends. Well that went unexpected for all involved including me. That has got to be awkward. Oh you can't trust kids like that. That's a pretty dark story. A little bit of dark humor for sure. There is so much awkwardness here. I feel like this is slightly close to how my friends and me are though. People always seem nice outside of home, but then reality hits when you see how they are at home. The ending was fine I suppose. It's not a bad film. It's basically your casual rom-com that's slightly less than what it could have been. I wish there was more Lamorne Morris. He was barely in it, but he still had some great comedy. It was an okay one time watch, but I wouldn't recommend it. It's nothing like I was expecting.

I was really curious about this one after seeing the trailer for it. Is there going to be any dialogue? Why is she alone in the middle of the woods if she is mute and deaf? Will this actually be any good? Mike Flanagan writes and directs this just as he did with Oculus. That was an average movie. The main star here also takes part in the writing. This should be interesting. Oh okay thank goodness there are people who talk in this. I don't think her freaking out in sign language to the attacker for the whole movie would have been very interesting. Unless of course it was a short film. Holy shit dude. That was insane and brutal. I like how we get hear from her perspective throughout. This guy likes to play offensive games with his prey. That was pretty damn creepy. Dude that's just not right! I was wondering when he would show up. I would never have trusted that for a second. OMG! I should have realized what just happened considering her whole seven endings scenario with her book. That was really intelligent. Oh I didn't expect that to happen. Nicely done. Oh good lord! Ouch! That was badass. What a great ending to a great movie. Heroes with disabilities are quite interesting. She really pulled it off. In fact if her performance was nominated for an Oscar I honestly think she did better than Leo in The Revenant lol. Unfortunately most horror movies are overlooked for Oscars. Then again not many are worthy of the notion. Anyways this was excellent. It answered all the questions I had before going in. It's on Netflix so give it a shot. It's quite unique and well worth it.

I have been meaning to watch this. Olympus Has Fallen was awesome in my opinion. So when I saw this was going to be coming out I knew I would have to watch it when I had the time. I haven't seen anything by Babak Najafi, but I have heard of some of his stuff. It took four people to create the screenplay. Sometimes it works. Other times that's a bad sign. Creighton Rothenberger and Katrin Benedikt worked on the first film as well as Expendables 3 which is promising. Christian Gudegast wrote A Man Apart which was a decent movie. Chad St. John wrote the Punisher: Dirty Laundry short as well as the upcoming XXX Vin Diesel sequel. We will see how they all work as a group. Well that was an interesting beginning. I'm sure that will have some major repercussions later on. Ugh all this set up is driving me crazy. We know something bad is going to happen. Get to it. I need some action instead of all the personal drama. There we go. Now it should get interesting! Well it most certainly did. That bit of chaos and destruction was worth the wait. What a badass motorcycle/car chase. Man the terrorists are playing no games this time. Damn that's so unfair. I wonder who the inside man is. These firefights are like playing Call of Duty on veteran. For those who don't know that means very intense with almost no leeway. That twist was a bit weak. Of course that's how they ending it. They need an excuse for a possible sequel. It doesn't quite reach the excitement of the first one, but it's still pretty good. It starts a bit slow, but stick with it. When the action starts it gets pretty intense. I was hoping for a better twist. Gerard Butler has still got it. I say screw this election and vote Morgan Freeman for president haha.

I get a kick out of Wayans' spoof films. I will be in the minority of course as being someone who may like this and certainly enjoy it more than Fifty Shades of Grey. Hell this is a parody of a movie that's adapted from a book that was the fan fiction of another book that also got made into a film series. That's just insane. Michael Tiddes also directed the A Haunted House films. Rick Alvarez was the writer for those as well. Of course Marlon Wayans also writes here. Oh look there are two other Wayans in this one. Oh wow lol well that certainly didn't end up going how I expected. Eww her roommate is obnoxious. Sure that wasn't at all stereotypical. I did get a bit of a chuckle there though. Ugh this roommate of hers is really killing the vibe. Okay that pencil scene was slightly over the top, but Kali Hawk was doing it so I oddly approve. I mean that's the vibe the guy gives in the actual film so why not. Haha a parody of the Weeknd okay. Pop cultures references out the wazoo. Some shouldn't be used like that ridiculous "What are thooose?" one. Did we need that Affion Crockett visual though? So he has to be like part horse or something. An outie that no one would want a part of. The part where we see his mother's friend reminds me of The Graduate meets Whiplash. You a lot of these types of movies are never consistent with their gags. I mean she no longer has an outie. Oh my gosh the torture room lol. Haha that's a way better use of saying "Fifty shades of...". I had a feeling that would be the gag right there. Oh god no! Never mind he still uses the "Fifty shades of fucked up." line. To be in a movie with all these racist jokes has to take someone who doesn't take it all seriously. Some of it is pretty offensive though. Anyways it's fairly funny considering the style of comedy. There were a few jokes that were pretty lame. Sadly I didn't think it was an improvement over Grey. It was pretty awful. The roommate was probably the worst part for me though.

So I need something to make me laugh after watching Shelter. So I put my trust in a Keegan Michael Key movie. Sure I don't expect it to actually be a good movie. I do expect to get some laughs though. I have never heard of the writer/director Jason Strouse. So hopefully that isn't a bad thing. The cast is interesting though. That is a truly unfortunate spelling of a name. So this is a mockumentary style film. I wasn't expecting that. Honestly it kind of brings this down. So the poster is a fake out because this is clearly not Keegan's movie. Sure this has comedy, but it feels more like a drama. Also the only real funny is whenever Keegan is on screen and a few other things. Okay this teacher that is basically like Jessica Day in New Girl is pretty amusing. They even sound a bit alike. There is a lot going on in this movie that feels like it was hit by a hurricane. A lot of it was boring. I barely paid attention to a chunk of it. Interesting enough even with all that was happening I felt a lot of nothing was also happening. Why did they repeat the same dialogue? That's some bad writing right there. That ending was a bit meh. It's not at all what I was hoping or expecting it to be. The acting was fine though. It had funny moments, but overall it was not really worth the time.

I have wanted to watch this for awhile. Jennifer Connelly is one of my biggest celebrity crushes. It's also interesting to note that actor Paul Bettany wrote and directed this. I have a big feeling this is going to be heart-wrenching. Ah so Anthony Mackie is playing a Nigerian. Well his accent is much better than what I saw of Will Smith in Concussion. I always find it interesting when someone continues to live on the street when they do actually have options. On the other hand seeing the lifestyle of homeless of the street is very sad. Ah I can't stand people who constantly beg for another of something. I think some choose to give up and beg. There are so many ways people can rise up in life even at what feels like the lowest point. I had a feeling she understood them. She is laughing like a crazy person and that is not very attractive. I mean I'm not surprised that she did such things. Wow the strong emotions are here. So it's only going to get more emotional as it goes. Jennifer Connelly's character reminds me a lot of the one from Requiem for a Dream. What a disgusting pig. I can't believe Jennifer Connelly agreed to that scene. I mean in certain situations that would have been more enjoyable to see. In terms of this movie it just makes everything all the more disturbed. I really hate that guy and how disgustingly friendly he is about all of it. I honestly don't think I could do anything for love. There is just some things that are absolutely not okay. Oh man! Good lord that was a tough watch. It really drains the joy out of you. I'm going to have to watch some sitcom episodes after that. The acting was absolutely terrific. The characters were so well rounded and interesting. It's definitely something that will stick with you. For me it's one of those kind of films you watch once and get how excellently it was made. You just wouldn't be able to bring yourself to watch it again.