Reviews by BAMF

So just browsing on Netflix while I wait for Game of Thrones and Fear the Walking Dead to come on. This was on my queue so I decided to give it a shot. This seems to be the only work of Jeff Chamberlain who writes, directs, and even has a role here. This is also the only credit for the story creator Scott Woldman. The opening credits felt out of place. I don't like the cut forwards whenever we meet a character. It kind of takes away from the whole thing. Oh wow I was wondering. Hmm this will probably be the best scene of the whole movie and it's just them changing ahah. Jovani is not that hard to say at all. Wow there is a lot of boringness here. I mean in a lot of movies when nothing is happening they still keep your attention. This however is not doing a good job of that. Now it might be getting interesting. Never mind this is pretty cheap and pathetic. There are some decent twists to the genre though that I wasn't expecting. Aww man no! Yikes that's disturbing. Well okay then? I had a feeling this would be the twist, but I had thought differently as it went. Aww that was kind of sad. Well that twist was a bit lackluster. Wow that ending was pretty bad. This was so bland. I was hoping for more than was given. It was different though not in a good way.

Another zombie on my list to check out. Thank God for Netflix for having a vast selection. I haven't seen any of the work from the directors or the writer. Well I don't like the cut back and forths of the opening. It does seem interesting though. Also be aware this is subtitled. This is going to be one of those kind of foreign goof off films. Whoa I don't think that is legal anywhere. Why would there be a cat in the office? Yeah this is definitely a parody of zombie films with added sprinkles of nonsense. It looks like these aliens are caused by alien aspects. It seems a little bit like Shaun of the Dead and Cockneys vs Zombies. I like the make up effects here. Finally he figured out what to do with that. That was very Dead Alive. Well those are certainly some interesting choices for weaponry. It also seems to have a little hint of Zombieland. Now that was like Wyrmwood which came after so yeah. Ah the silly ole Wilhelm Scream. That was quite unintelligent. That was a nice twist for character development that is usually scene the other way around. Oh man that is seriously messed up. I'm getting a kick out the silly gimmicks throughout. That was kind of sad. Of course they would end it like that. There is a scene after the credits as well. I really liked the characters. There were a few loose ends here and there. It was a decent time killer though.

I was curious about this one. When I watched the trailer it actually looked pretty interesting. The director William Brent Bell wrote and directed one of my guiltiest pleasures called Stay Alive (the horror movie about dying in real life if you die in the video game). Sadly he was also the one behind The Devil Inside. The writer here I have never heard of before. Haha oh what a creeper! Wow she is already failing at following instructions. That's a bit different which is nice. Yeah I would laugh like it's a prank as well. Hmm that's an interesting detail. If everything has to be loud why do they whisper sometimes? Well I now understand the what already. The why will of course take awhile longer. Wait why is she dressed completely different there. Shouldn't it have been the same outfit? The atmosphere sure is creepy. So a majority of the rules have been broken. It's kind of dumb that the supernatural kind of stuff only happens in the dreams. It kind of takes away from everything. This is all quite a bit odd. That was kind of dark and sad. If it was a ghost do you really think trying to scare it would work? Ben Robson's beard looks a bit lopsided. It's kind of distracting. Well that was certainly interesting. Oh that was a unique way to kill someone. How did he mask his voice to sound like a child? I did like the look of him though So the last like 20 minutes were the best part of the whole thing. They could have been their own movie. The ending was a bit dry though. The rest was just slow and boring with a mix of cliches and lame happenings. Of course they leave an ending like that for a possible sequel. I don't know how I would feel about it. It would have to be a completely different kind of thing. It could have been much better.

I have never seen this third addition to the TMNT movies of the 90s. In fact for a long time I didn't know it existed. I was then told that this was because it was so awful. I grew up on these guys though so I figured I would go ahead and just watch it since it's on Netflix. I have heard of stuff from Stuart Gillard, but this will be my first venture into one of his films. At least the cast returns as well as Casey Jones from the first one. I had no idea Abby from The 100 played April O'Neil in these. The opening feels so much longer than it actually is. I don't get the point of the coloring tint to the scene. Ah the good ole antics of our Turtles. Of course it's a bit cheesy, but that's the fun of it. Wow the sexual innuendos are real with this one. The effects here are definitely date and it's kind of hilarious. Really is that all he is going to be there for? Oh nice that was a decent idea. Although I'm a bit disappointed by some things. Wouldn't that one guy have the same as the other three as well as those shorts. Otherwise they should technically be naked. Wow the writing is pretty awful. One of them says we lost a brother and then another one asks where he is almost immediately. Like are they serious? Also he hopes that the frog wasn't his ancestor? Completely different species. You would think they would know what a horse is as well. This has moments that are a tad bit racist. What's with Norinaga's bit of hair on the side. It looks really sloppy. Paige Turco sure has some nice legs. Okay that didn't follow the rules of what this movie set. Seriously with the lights dimming around them. This was really corny. It was also chock full of definitely dated references. It was a bit all over the place. This is nowhere near as much fun as the first two were sadly. It had moments though I guess.

I have been meaning to watch this. I've heard many good things about it. That it's not your typical horror movie. It's a slow burner with a different style to it. That's it doesn't really on jump scares, but it tries to be genuinely creepy as hell. This looks to be the first outting for writer director Robert Eggers. I swear a lot of first time directors are really making a name for themselves as long as they aren't associated with The Asylum or something similar to that. So let's see what flavor tea this turns out to be. Not sure what that was all about but okay. Oh that was creepy. I like the ominous music. That was a bit weird and uncomfortable. Wow that was uh definitely different. This is definitely a very artsy sort of film. The imagery is definitely ominous. This family is a different kind of dysfunctional. Hey kid what the hell you doing? Wow that was some pretty intense atmosphere. As the movie moves along things get stranger and stranger. The imagery is disturbingly beautiful. I thought the acting was really well done even from the children. There were some nice little twists near the end. It's not a typical horror movie, but when it comes to witchcraft I thought this displayed it quite nicely. It's surely unique and freaky. I'd say it was good, but not the greatest or scariest.

I wanted to watch this ever since I heard it was going to be Ray William Johnson's intro to the film industry. He is definitely one of my favorite Youtubers. So I support a lot of what he is involved in when it comes to film. This is the first work from both the writer and director. The poster slightly reminds me of The Graduate while being obviously quite different. The plot of this actually sounds fairly interesting and of course what will most definitely be the cause of many conflicts. Well that was interesting. Aww man see that feels like what I have to deal with through life myself sometimes. How awkward does all that gotta be? I wonder what's going on with him. Okay this guy needs to chill with that weird ass story. It's funny how a slacker can be a much nicer person than other people who deal with all kinds of people on the regular. Something is going on with this Stephanie girl as well. Ah well that got answered almost immediately after I wondered it. It doesn't feel like your typical sort of drama. It feels like something that could happen. The chemistry between the characters feels genuine. I wonder how this is going to go down. Oh shit that's messed up. If she was waiting for me I would be hella excited. I had a feeling that's where that was going. That kind of reminded me of Sessions with John Hawkes. I didn't expect that to be a part of the conflict though until a bit later into this. It's a bit sad how things turn out. That's a nice and unexpected twist of things. Ray William Johnson has proven his acting skills are more than just goofball skits on Youtube. Damn that was pretty unexpected! That was an extremely bittersweet movie. RJ Mitte is always excellent to watch. It's a good watch. It could have some improvements, but overall these are the kind of dramas I usually enjoy.

So I have heard of this one. I don't hear of it often though. It's been on my to watch list for years. I finally got the chance last night. See the employees of my theater get together some weekends to either play video games or screen some movies. This month we are doing what we like to call F.U.M.M. If you can't tell by what this movie is about what it means I'll tell you. It means Fucked up Movie Month. Usually we play something like Martyrs, High Tension, or Frontier(s). We always end it though with A Serbian Film though. Anyways let's get to it. I have only seen one other thing by Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo and it was a segment in the ABC's of Death 2. Also the only actor I recognize here was also in their film. So the film starts out tragically. I couldn't help but joke at the baby looking as if he hit the camera though. I swear the French love using as much blood as they can get away with. It starts off a tad slow afterwards as we get to know her and the people around her. That dream sequence made me laugh so hard. It was meant to be disturbing I know, but it just came off as a bit ridiculous. There were a few scenes where someone who was definitely dead somehow managed to keep doing things which given the circumstances didn't make sense. I thought the special effects were fair given when this was made. Although at times it did look slightly dated. Also the sound quality during some of the kills were pretty unpleasant. I don't know if it was meant to be like that or what. I was pissed off when they introduced the cat because I knew something would happen to it. I was correct sadly. Whenever they showed the baby in her belly it kind of took away from the seriousness of the movie. There were some great twists and turns throughout. There were also a few of those WTF moments in that they made like little to no sense. Anyways it was still enjoyable and bloody just the way I like them. This is definitely not for the weak stomached. I only recommend this for those who don't mind all the gore and chaos.

We all knew a sequel would be coming, but we just didn't know when. Then the trailer came for it quite close to when it would be released. The cast is already much better than the original. Not that they were at all bad. I wonder how much this will differ from the original besides the whole found footage shtick. Daniel Trachetenberg only directed one other film. It was a live action short of the Portal game series. It was pretty good so I trust this will be as well. I haven't seen anything from story creators Josh Campbell or Matthew Stuecken. The writer here Damien Chazelle also wrote and directed Whiplash. Sadly he is also the reason Last Exorcism Part II exists. I was wondering when there would be dialogue. I was hoping it wasn't all just eerie music. It only takes four minutes until someone finally speaks though. That's an intense little title sequence. What she thinks is just a typical kidnapping we know is far different. Oh this is getting pretty interesting. That's an interesting reveal right there. I wouldn't want to make him mad. He doesn't seem like the game playing type even though he has them. Yeah that was pretty creepy. Stockholm Syndrome during a monster attack. I think I would get bored at some point. Aww yeah it's never fun when things are missing. Okay that's just way too eerie. Now the plot has thickened. I don't think I would want to be locked in a place with a guy like Howard. Even playing games with him would make me nervous. Holy shit! Well it just got even more uncomfortable. Oh damn ouch! That is one creative outfit for sure. He may have be a psychopath, but he didn't lie about everything. I loved the ending. I feel it will have a connection to the first one because of this. It's definitely not what I was expecting it to be though. A lot of people complained that Monsters 2 didn't have enough focus on the monsters. Well this Cloverfield universe story is along the same lines. It wasn't at all bothered by it. I thought it was perfectly executed and made total sense. Don't go in expecting something like the first one and you should be fine.

I found this on Netflix while roaming around. The plot sounded interesting enough. I also can't complain about some of the cast here. I have seen a few Steven C. Miller directed films. Extraction (an action film of his) was the only one I didn't like at all. Scott Milam wrote the remake of Mother's Day (the horror one) which I highly enjoyed. So I'm expecting to find some enjoyment with this one. It's pretty interesting that they started this in the thick of it all. The mystery of everything really draws you in. Of course we get story through flashbacks. I'm kind of confused as to what Matt is to the others. Is that part of the mystery? Hmm I was skeptical of the flashbacks, but now I see they are quite useful and vital. Okay it makes total sense who he is now. The flashbacks and what is going on in the present are two completely different genres. In the flashbacks you have something of a drama. In the present you have a thriller. I did not expect that twist of events to happen. This kind of reminds of another movie with people stuck in a limo. It was quite a bit different, but there were accusations and secrets just like this. I do like that the flashbacks are timed in a way that makes sense as well as relate to what is happening with the current situation. Oh come on don't get all cliche on me now! What the hell is he like freaking Jason Bourne or something haha? I only have one other question which I'm sure will be answered. Okay I definitely was expecting that! Well that however I saw coming. It reminded me of the twist from Scream. I mean the guy even sort of looks like Skeet Ulrich. Oh wow I had a feeling from the very beginning of that too! This becoming predictable kind of brought it all down for me. Lol that made me laugh since I immediately thought of the Dear Sister Parody skit from years back. It was a decent watch. The predictability was disappointing and it was at times cheesy. If it weren't for that I may have rated it higher.

So I saw the trailer for this and my oh my does it look like a cheese fest. I do find the concept rather intriguing though. A zombie movie where only animals are infected IS actually a fresh new take. I find it funny that Chris Hardwick supports this movie. Then again he gets paid for it, but who knows he may have actually enjoyed it. I haven't seen anything from the writer or director, but I have heard of their stuff. There aren't any familiar people here to my knowledge. Let's see where this goes. This beginning reminds me of those annoying ads for resorts and similar things. This CGI is odd. It's not the complete worst, but it's also not good. I'm guessing this is like the normal animal equivalent of Jurassic Park with a zombie aspect. Haha a gorilla that is a mixture of CGI and a man in an ape costume. The characters are mostly typical and the acting from most is quite corny. With that line I now know for a fact this is a Jurassic Park parody. Some of the blood didn't make sense there. Did that just happen? That is seriously impossible. Haha I swear most of these people are absolute idiots and you just can't help but laugh. That giraffe scene was ridiculous, but hey it's definitely different. So why exactly does she have trust issues? There is exactly no reason for her to think that way. Was that guy about to say "I'm in so much pain!" haha. Thank God for that. I was getting tired of her. I actually think this little girl is doing somewhat of better job than most of the adults. That koala is probably the creepiest looking of the zombie animals. Gage went from an annoying character to actually being rather likable. Well that person just got Oberyn'd (the term I used to describe someone's head being bashed in after what happened on Game of Thrones). Aww damn that's sad. Haha that little girl. No way! She can't be strong enough to pick up a full gas can that easily! Okay this scene was truly disturbing and eerie. Probably one of the best scenes of the whole movie. "It's nesting in me! It's nesting in me!" Are they for real with this ending? Okay at first I thought I was only going to like Lizzy and Rex, but somehow Gage ended being one of my favorites. It's always great to have someone you thought you would hate go around and show you what's what. Of course it's not all that great of a movie. I do believe though with a few cast changes, some much better CGI, and better writing/directing this could have been great. The concept really was what made this stand out though.

Edit: Ah the poster clearly mentions Jurassic Park so yeah.