Reviews by BAMF

Initial Thought: Well I like most of the actors here specifically Hailee Steinfeld, Jessica Alba, and Samuel L. Jackson. the plot isn't anything particularly new though. I guess I'm watching just for the actors.

Characters/Acting: The actors here are what caught my attention. We have some heavy hitters like Samuel L. Jackson and Hailee Steinfield. We have rising stars like Thomas Mann or Sophie Turner. We even have Steve-O for some reason. He may not be a particularly good actor, but he should be entertaining enough. Here we have two people playing way against type. Sophie Turner plays a stuck up rival to Hailee Steinfeld's character. Jessica Alba plays a villain which I don't think I have ever seen her do. Both of them actually pull it off really well. I was right about Steve-O being entertaining, but he wasn't in it enough. I thought all the characters here were pretty likeable.

Story: Well this is kind of along the lines of Kingsman, Hanna, So Undercover, K.C. Undercover, and Sucker Punch with a dash of Mean Girls. I mean it really doesn't have too much originality, but I'm just here for the talent involved. It has some pretty hilarious moments one of which involves a bathroom. The action isn't a big part of this, but when it does happen it's choreographed nicely. I wish the twists weren't so predictable. There is a little scene in the middle of the credits that kind of hints for a sequel.

Directing/Writing: Kyle Newman directed Fanboys which I highly enjoyed. So with that I'm hoping he still has the skills to keep me interested and laughing. John D'Arco hasn't written anything else to my knowledge. Hopefully this is a good start for him.

Final Thought: I actually really enjoyed this. It's got a good amount of humor and some action. Everyone really put this together well. It's good for the whole family with a few brief moments with strong language. It could have been tweaked for originality. Anyways it was a good watch for what it was. If you like Hailee Steinfeld or pretty much any of the main characters I'd say give it a shot.

Initial Thought: I guess people want to do franchise spoofs now instead of genres. This has a pretty decent and somewhat well known cast for a spoof. I wanted to see this just to see how they could make fun with the Taken series.

Characters/Acting: We have a variety of talent here. Some I enjoy and some who are average. I mean they even got Akon in on this. Reno Wilson looks like a mash up of Akon and Kevin Hart. He was probably one of the funnier things about this crapfest albeit one of the least likeable characters.

Story: It's a spoof of Taken. So things get taken of course. It's also has a few things from Liam Neeson's other recent action films like Non-Stop. Most of the jokes here are just lame. I only chuckled a few times. The Akon scene was kind of funny and clever. It does point out some of the ridiculous parts of the Taken series. The skills speech is used as expected. I really don't get what was with the subtitles since everyone speaks English. I guess it was supposed to be a joke. It was a pretty pathetic attempt. Okay that fight scene at the end killed it for me. That was just a level of grossness that was unnecessary. The bloopers after the credits weren't even funny.

Directing/Writing: I haven't seen anything John Asher has directed, but I have seen stuff he has been in. He isn't known for good movies though. I guess the bigger stars here owed him favors or something. Cameron Van Hoy hasn't written anything that I recognize.

Final Thought: Recognizable names do not make a good movie. This was horrible. Very little here was anywhere close to funny. It was mostly boring. Do not ever waste your time here. It's not worth it trust me.

Initial Thought: When I first heard of this I thought it was just another racing movie. Then I realized after the poster came that it was indeed another racing movie. Not just any though no it was a parody of the Fast and Furious films. Anyways I have seen a lot of parody films so I decided to go ahead and watch this.

Characters/Acting: Well our characters here are caricatures of the ones we know and love from the fast and furious characters. It does look like they pull off some of their characteristics quite well though from the trailer. Some of the actors here were actually in the real series. The acting is pretty good surprisingly. This group of actors really know how to just have fun with the ridiculousness of it all. I even liked the characters themselves. Lucas White's (parody of Brian) personality reminds me of a mixture of Bill and Ted meets Dumb and Dumber. At times it's a little annoying, but at others I thought it was pretty funny.

Story: Well it's a parody of the first six Fast and Furious films. I mean there really isn't much else to say until I watch it. This actually has some pretty good jokes. I found myself laughing at all. It's still pretty dumb, but it isn't horrible. There are a lot of good pop culture references. The fourth wall breaking scenes were good too. The bloopers cracked me up specifically the final part of them.

Directing/Writing: Ah Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. The guys who pretty much parody everything. It's interesting that they are doing franchises now. I have a back and forth feeling about these guys. They write much better than they directed with Scary Movie 1 and 2 being their best written work. Then everything went kind of downhill afterwards. Most of their stuff is crap with the worst being interchangeably Date Movie and Disaster Movie which they wrote and directed. I did find Meet the Spartans and Vampires Suck decent enough to enjoy. I mean there are times in their mediocre films too where they have moments that are funny. It just all isn't enough to save their films from being mostly trash. Anyways I'm hoping this will be one of their better runs.

Final Thought: Well this was definitely one of their more enjoyable movies. I laughed quite a bit through this. It has a few of their signature jokes thrown in so you know who made it. I'm surprised by how much fun I had with this off the wall movie. I wouldn't suggest this unless you like spoof films. I took it for what it was. You will either hate this or be amused. See it at your own discretion.

Initial Thought: Takashi Miike is back with another off the wall gore fest feature teenagers. This was at a local film festival so I really wanted to check it out. Miike's films aren't for the faint of hear or easily offended though. Also it sounds like one hell of a ride.

Characters/Acting: I really liked all the characters here. In fact I always enjoy characters in Japanese films more than American. Most of the time they are more likeable including villains. Here is just no exception. Everyone here is awesome in their own unique ways. I loved the designs of the creatures. Everyone really did great here.

Story: This starts of straight into the action. It makes you think about Battle Royale with a mixture of the Crows Zero films (of which he directed the first two). The concept here is really interesting and it revolves around video games in a way. In fact I would say they are in a live action video game just without the restarts. Each thing they encounter is kind of like a level/boss fight. There are some really good twists and turns throughout. Man that ending was just so good. So much stuff happened in this that you just do not see coming. I'm really hoping there is a sequel with the way this ended.

Directing/Writing: Takashi Miike is a legend. Yes his movies are grotesque and usually involving rather young characters. Can you say you never heard of him? Not many can he is a very well known director universally. He isn't known for making you feel happiness though. I can't say I ever read the manga this is based from. I don't even know if the guys who wrote the manga did anything else or not. I don't even know the guy who wrote the screenplay. All I know is that this better be as crazy entertaining as I expect from a Miike film.

Final Thought: That was extremely entertaining and fun. It's gruesome yes, but that is expected from Miike. It's batshit crazy too, but then again how many Japanese films are normal? Anyways if you like video games and Takashi Miike then I would definitely say check this one out. Also if you are a fan of survival game situations. Miike never disappoints me.

Initial Thought: I have actually been wanting to see this. It looks funny and has an interesting cast. I think we have all been DUFFs at some point. Also of course this is based on a book not much these days is completely original.

Characters/Acting: A good selection of young actors with some well known older actors as well. I think all the characters were really enjoyable. Mae Whitman is really a unique looking person. Just because she is the DUFF in this doesn't mean she is unattractive. I would have talked to her if I went to school with her ahah. It seems that Bella Thorne is typecast as the popular stuck up chick in most movies I have seen her in lately.

Story: Well it seems like this is somewhat like Mean Girls or basically many of those makeover type movies. It is a bit different than those with the friends of the main character not being outcasts like usual. I always enjoy these kind of comedies where the characters kind of interact with the visuals only the audience usually notices and with a plethora of goofy side characters. The fantasy scenes are just so extreme that they are hilarious. It's a little bit predictable, but I'm okay with that here. It does bring it's own freshness along with the cliche. The ending was cute. Those bloopers were pretty hilarious too.

Directing/Writing: I've never heard of Ari Sandel. Josh A. Cagan wrote Bandslam which I intend to check out eventually. I haven't heard of his other stuff though. Kody Keplinger wrote the book that this is loosely based on. He has written three other books as well. None of which I have heard of before now. Well they did a pretty good job. It had my attention from beginning to end.

Final Thought: I have to say I really liked this. Yeah things happened as I expected, but it was fun getting to the ending. Everything in this was really well done. It is funny, the girls are beautiful, the acting is great, and the story is just really enjoyable. I know I'm a DUFF. We all are and it doesn't necessarily mean anything bad in most cases. It's just a label. Labels don't make a person who they are. Anyways I say check it out. It's a pretty nice way to spend some free time.

Initial Thought: The trailer for this kind of spoiled a lot of the movie. I know at least one person who dies. That was disappointing. Also why is there so many comedy actors here. I don't know if I can take this one seriously. I mean at least they are trying to expand their horizons. Other than that the concept here looks pretty interesting and that's what got my attention.

Characters/Acting: The actors here are mostly in comedies and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Some are even in romantic films. It will be interesting to see how this goes for them all. I do enjoy them for their roles in other films. I haven't seen anything of Sarah Bolger until now, but I have been aware of her presence. Niko and Rocky were my favorite characters everyone else here were just kind of boring.

Story: Well if you are aware of the stories in the bible you will understand what Lazarus is. He was a man who was risen from the dead by Jesus. Take that concept and give it horror with a dash of science and you have this film. It's sad that this relies heavily on jump scares while having very little actually scary things happening. Despite the fresh concept for a horror movie this had a lot of cliche moments. The death scenes were pretty mediocre sadly. I wish they could have done more on that department. Near the end I suddenly thought I was watching a remake of Firestarter. I mean the twist was a nice little touch anyways.

Directing/Writing: Not really aware of David Gelb, but his most well known film is a documentary about a sushi chef. His only other film seems to be something Robert Downey Jr. was in that nobody ever saw. Luke Dawson wrote the American remake of Shutter. I was not impressed by that one. Jeremy Slater wrote the upcoming Fantastic Four movie. I hope this isn't awful or it may make me second guess wanting to see that.

Final Thought: For the most part this was just an average jump scare flick. It's really short to my surprise. Honestly it isn't an awful movie, but it could have been better through it's entirety. I thought the ending was pretty clever and different though. In fact it was a nice payoff for the rest of this. Without that ending I would have given this a pretty low rating. Anyways it's far from perfect, but if you got an hour to waste give it a try.

Initial Thought: The first one was fresh and original. Yes it was really fucked up (pardon me), but it tested boundaries. It was really entertaining. It wasn't something I would watch again though. Then the second one came out and I said what the hell. So I watched it as well. It was even more disturbed than the first one and really made me uncomfortable for watching it. Again I had told myself I wouldn't watch that one again either. In fact it was just not even that good. Now when I heard the 3rd one was coming out and it would be the final one I said fine let's get this over with. I know I will hate it and refuse to watch it again. It's part of my theaters movie group so I decided to check it out with them.

Characters/Acting: There are a few notable returnees to the series other than the main villains. We also get Akihiro Kitamura from part 1, Bill Hutchens from part 2, and Peter Blankenstein who played two different characters from the previous films. Dieter Laser was superbly creepy in the first of this trilogy. Here he was insanely awful. Almost the entire time I couldn't understand what he was saying. His accent is so rough that when he is screaming (which is just about the whole movie) everything he says comes out jumbled. At times it could be kind of funny, but most of the time it just came off extremely annoying. Some of his reactions were pretty disturbing and uncomfortable. At some points it got so awkward and weird I just couldn't help but laugh. Laurence Harvey was much more likeable here though than he was in part 2. He may have came up with the whole idea in this, but at least he thought of prisoners health haha. I still wouldn't want to be caught by him in a dark alley. Bree Olson is used as the sex symbol here. Surprisingly for a porn star you never see anything from her. She does dress and pose in slutty ways though. She also has some of the funnier stuff happen. When I saw one guy I thought it was Efren Ramirez from Napoleon Dynamite. While it was indeed his face it belonged to that of his twin brother Carlos. Well shows who is better of the two brothers. Eric Roberts doesn't do much here as usual. Tom Six is in a good amount of this. His appearance is much better than like whenever you see Uwe Boll in one of his films. Robert LaSardo has to pick the craziest people when he plays criminals. Anyways I was actually rooting for the prisoners most of the time here. Only one time in particular made me hate a few of them though.

Story: Well we know the story psychopaths want to make a centipede out of humans! We get a movieception here though when we find out Human Centipede is a movie in this sequel too as well as Human Centipede 2. So boom neither of the first two take place in the "real world". This is also has the longest runtime of the whole trilogy by about ten minutes. Tom Six wasn't lying about this one being pretty freaking gruesome. Although I do believe one scene in particular in part 2 tops even the cruelest of scenes here. I mean this has some really effed up stuff that's for sure, but killing a newborn with a gas pedal tops anything this had to offer for gruesomeness. I mean here we have a close up of a really cringe-worthy castration, a man eating fried clitorises from castrated females, a man getting shot in a hole where his poop comes out into a bag with blood and shit flying everywhere, a dream sequence of a man getting raped in a stab wound leading to his kidney and while that is all hard to watch I just could not deal with that scene from part 2. If you read that spoiler and still want to see this I honestly don't know how you could. I stuck it through, but it was really tough. I mean yeah some moments did make me laugh (The Human Caterpillar being one that stuck out with another being Tom Six throwing up in disgust) and others made me cringe a lot, but this is something I will definitely never see again. It's just really gross as expected, but it's definitely a bit too much for anyone to ever watch again. Also the end was pretty depressing in my opinion. I mean honestly though despite the gruesomeness I think this could have been at least better if Dieter Laser wasn't such an awful actor here.

Directing/Writing: It seems with each of these films Tom Six digs a bigger grave. I mean it started off with such an interesting yet disturbed concept. It just went downhill from there. You know the interesting thing about the first one is that it was pure horror. It wasn't funny in any sense. The second one had a little humor, but it was still creepy. Then this one was just full of comedic moments. Yes it still had it's disturbed atmosphere including really effed up moments, but it was mostly way to comical. I mean he still came up with a few original ideas here. I don't fault him for his creativity. This guy does have an imagination. I just wish he threw out the comedy and maybe had someone besides Dieter Laser (or had him work on his annunciation) then this could have been a better watch.

Final Thought: This was an awful end to what started off as a brilliantly disturbing idea. It lost it's touch. The series went from horror to this mostly really effed comedy. It had funny moments some of which were because of the absurdity of the situations. The gore was a plenty and could be a bit mortifying. The acting wasn't bad except for Dieter Laser who was really good in the first one. I am really disappointed with him here. I could see this being better had they worked on the comedy and his acting. I highly recommend avoiding this one at all costs. I'm sure most of you are already doing that anyways.

Initial Thought: I've never been a fan of Kristen Wiig, but this actually looked pretty good to me. It helps that this also has a great cast. When I had originally watched the trailer it seemed that she somehow lied about winning the lottery. I don't know what I was thinking or maybe it was just the editing of the trailer. Anyways time to get this show on the road.

Characters/Acting: It has a good selection of actors. We get Linda Cardellini, James Marsden, and even Alan Tudyk to name a few. Even Kristen Wiig looks interesting here. After watching I believe Wiig did a really good job portraying Alice. Everyone else did a wonderful job too, but she really stood out for me here. It surprised me.

Story: A movie about a woman with a mental illness who decides she wants to make a reality show about her life when she wins the lottery. Money and fame can get to anyone's head. This has funny moments, but it's kind of hard to think of Alice's situation as laugh out loud funny. This has the kind of funny you feel bad about after laughing. There are some good moments throughout. The ending in particular was pretty good.

Directing/Writing: Shira Piven has only been in movies and usually with the terrible Will Ferrell. She is the sister of Jeremy Piven. So let's see her crack at filmmaking. Eliot Laurence hasn't written any films before this. From the trailer though it looks like they did good enough to grab my attention.

Final Thought: I thought it was a fine watch. I thought it ended well. The characters are interesting and likeable. I say give it a shot you may like it or not. If you think of it more as a drama rather than a comedy you should be good.

Initial Thought: What we have here is a situation like Friends with Benefits and No Strings Attached. Really similar ideas that came out really close together. This is like Life After Beth. The lesser of the two beautiful actresses is the one that becomes a zombie while the hotter one comes later. This is directed by Joe Dante though so I have faith in it.

Characters/Acting: Anton Yelchin and Alexandra Daddario are enough for my attention. The other people here are pretty good too. Oliver Cooper has really let himself go since Project X. The characters are quite eerily similar to the Life After Beth ones to an extent. I mean the character of Evelyn is a vegan and Beth was a vegetarian. Olivia her is kind of dorky just like Anna Kendrick from Life After Beth. Interesting that Anton Yelchin has fought vampires before and Ashley Greene was a vampire.

Story: A love triangle that involves a zombie ex-girlfriend, a slightly unusual dude, and a living hottie. That's about all I know about this one. Ah this made me want to work in a horror store. I looked up anything nearby and there actually is a small one like the one in this in a good distance. It has some pretty silly moments as well as some that will make you grossed out. I thought the ending was the right amount of goofy. It goes by too quickly and I wish it was longer.

Directing/Writing: It's Joe Dante! The guy who made some of my favorite childhood horror movies! I loved the Gremlins movies. Hopefully he makes me care about the characters here too. The writer Alan Trezza isn't anybody known with only this under his writing belt. They both did a pretty good job here in my opinion.

Final Thought: To me this was better and funnier than Life After Beth. I cared about the characters. I mean it isn't Dante's best movie, but it is far from his worst. Glad to see classic directors still making it big. If you are a fan I suggest given this underrated film a check.

Initial Thought: Well I am watching this solely because of Michael Jai White. I said I will watching anything with him in it and he just had to be in this. So I'm going to get this out of the way ASAP. Besides it's basically Magic Mike for the African American community. It looks exactly like it from the trailer and obviously the plot. Anyways don't judge me. It's weird enough as it is.

Characters/Acting: It has a pretty decent cast with the highlights being Michael Jai White and Vivica A. Fox. She is looking much better after whatever happened to her look during Sharknado 2. You know what else makes this an obvious rip off the main guy here is named Michael. So many characters are underdeveloped with storylines that get disregarded. Carmen Electra didn't do much here, but she was probably the best part of dealing with most of the stripping scenes.

Story: It's pretty much the same basic plot as Magic Mike. New guy feels uncomfortable stripping, but he gains confidence quite quickly. Haha the beginning as said by dialogue confirms itself to be just Magic Mike with "chocolate". Already this feels like it is going to be extremely cheesy. It was really uncomfortable whenever they were biting or licking their lips. Like how uncomfortable are they trying to make me feel. There are so many subplots that don't go anywhere or even resolve. Besides all the exotic male dancing there are moments where if a guy is forced to watch this that he will see some gorgeous women. Unlike Magic Mike however we see nothing from the ladies and get a bunch of butt-crack shots from the dudes. It's very predictable and cliche. The ending was pretty cheesy.

Directing/Writing: No idea who Jean-Claude La Marre is, but he doesn't seem to have a good track record on filmmaking.

Final Thought: This definitely isn't for the guys. I highly regret watching this. This should be avoided unless this is what kind of movie you are looking for. It wasn't the worst thing I have seen, but this was definitely not something made for people like me. Also yes I am jealous because I wish I had bodies like these haha.