Reviews by BAMF

So this is one of those guilty pleasures that is actually so bad it's good. It helps that they constantly have all these celebrities who show up that you thought you would never see again. I wish people wouldn't have voted for Tara Reid to live though. She is just annoying now. It looks like a mini Baywatch reunion. Also I find it amusing that they have gotten all of the Shark Tank people to appear in this series. Anthony C. Ferrante once again returns to direct this sequel. Thunder Levin also returns as the writer. I have to admit I am a little ashamed by how much I enjoy this ridiculous series. Anyways let's see if it's as silly as the others. So besides the title it parodies the opening crawl that the Star Wars movies do. Good lord Carrot Top is such an odd one. I don't think I would get in a car with him lol. Well that's an extreme way to get married. Some of these people still look fairly good. The hilarious thing is that it makes no sense that sharks would suddenly be in the tornado. Oh gosh the Chippendale dudes haha! It certainly doesn't take long to get into the action. Also they off some people rather quickly which makes since given how many cameos they have thrown at us here. Defying the law of physics in such a drastic way. It's all so illogical and it knows it. The news reporter even makes a comment about it. The dialogue is so cheese driven here. So much that it's pretty groan-worthy. Yeah seriously not the time for that mess. That was a ridiculous interview lol. There are so many kind of 'nadoes in here. They are getting pretty crazy with all their movie line references. Okay they are really making this feel like a parody of Star Wars. I was thinking it would just be the title, but no they are really pulling a lot of it from the Star Wars saga. Haha wow Texas Chainsaw Massacre reference. Why does it seem like Gary Busey and Tara Reid aren't in the same room? Oh Stacey Dash how hot you still are yet how ignorant you can be. Another classic horror film reference nice! Oh gosh they even managed to do a play on Kylo Ren's lightsaber. Is there no shame? Ah damn that's not cool! Is there going to be any real reaction to that? That kid is not strong enough to be able to do that yet. Did she just say the state of Chicago or stay in Chicago? Either way wow. Wizard of Oz lol. Uh yeah how exactly did they manage that? That kid has some issues. Still no reaction to what happened earlier it seems. What the hell is that? Oh man they actually did that! Wow it's like nobody cares when their family or lover dies here! Finally someone reacts to something! Oh Damn! Tara Reid is so damn annoying. HAHA are you kidding me?! By the way that was like a blue whale or something which I assume they meant for it to be a whale shark considering. Wow what a cop out! That was too stupid! Wait wasn't he in the suit? How did he manage to get out of it? That ending was lame. Sure the cameos were fun. I'm disappointed with this one though. It just pissed me off and relied to heavily on puns, references, and other crap. This entry to the series is just bad. It has it's moments, but it's not on the same level of cheesy fun as the other two. What a shame.

Man I loved the first Independence Day. It was fun, funny, and the action was great. When I heard they were making this I was really excited. I wanted to see how they would continue the story. I was a bit disappointed with Will Smith not returning though. I find it awesome that the original director and writer return for this. I honestly love many of Roland Emmerich's films as well as Dean Devlin's work on the Universal Soldier series. This is the first writing credit for actors Nicolas Wright and James A. Woods. This is also written by James Vanderbilt who wrote the Spider-Man reboots and other films I really enjoyed. I'm glad they got a good chunk of the main adult cast to return for this. I would have liked for some of the child actors to return as well though. Okay I kind of dig how the started it off with some audio from the original speech and seeing the aliens react. I really hope we can put our petty differences aside without the need of an alien invasion. Everything looks so futuristic in this. Well that is a reasonable reason. Ah throwing in some pictures of Will Smith here and there. The way they killed him off is a bit silly, but other than that I like how they honor his character. So far the new characters are decent. So Vivica A. Fox is looking fairly good again. Man 20 years is a bit long for that. You have to be pretty damn patient. Yeah that's a good way to start more trouble. Judd Hirsch has been looking old for so long that he still looks pretty much the same as he did in the first one. Oh damn it's like no we're not going to play these games. Yeah I don't think there is much you can do when that happens. This is insane! OMG I can't believe they actually went through with that! They are definitely much smarter than the last invaders. Oh that's an interesting predicament. See that's what happens when you do that. I have to admit I would really like to see that story. I actually like some of the new characters quite a bit. No way can it be that easy! Also that's just not fair! Okay that's pretty freaking cool and kind of messed up! Haha nice little homage to the first one there. Aww why do they keep messing with me! It's kind of a sappy ending, but hey it's pretty decent. I am kind of excited to see what they can do with a third one. Contrary to many opinions I actually really enjoyed this. It's fun, chaotic, and the story keeps you entertained. There were a few things I wish had been done differently, but those are just minor personal gripes. It's not quite as amazing as the first one was, but for a movie catering to new generations as well as old I thought it did fine. Sure it's cliche and cheesy at times. Give it a chance though. I think it's being judged a little too harshly.

They just had to throw dinosaurs into the mix. It looks like Richard Rich has finally learned his lesson and skipped out on this one. Tom Kane is still here however as the writer. The new director is Tim Maltby with this being only the second time he has directed. Well the dinosaur CGI is a bit wishy washy, but it's an interesting way to begin this. Wow that truck is well designed. The humans here look better than the last film, but their heads are still too big for their bodies. Oh well nevermind it looks like those villains from the previous film are back again. Okay that is just nasty! He doesn't need backstory they think the audience does. Are they on drugs or something? That the only explanation for whatever the hell that was. This is so darn boring. Nothing interesting is really going on. Now it's just weird. So I guess they learned their lesson. This series is a waste of time that I'm ashamed I started in the first place. I bet even kids hate this crap. Avoid this series like the plague.

I honestly couldn't tell you why I watch these. I just can't let a series I start go unfinished no matter how bad it gets. I'm a glutton for punishment. Also I sometimes hope I can improve on my reviews with practice like this. I mean people have to review these for others eventually and people actually get paid for it. Richard Rich returns to direct and Tom Kane returns as the writer. They even got an actress to return from the first one. It's probably because no one knows her and she needed work. At least they are consistent with that so far. "Puppy love as in a boyfriend!?" I swear they don't even try sometimes. It's interesting how the CGI for the adult wolves is so much better than the pups. Is she really acting that way right in front of her parents. It hit me now that it makes no sense that wolves would have a family vacation. Like what exactly would they need a vacation from? It looks like they decided to just build a story around archive footage from the previous films. Those guys have big heads and normal bodies. This is pretty cheesy so far, but that's what you get with television episode length movie sequels. Did they really try to pull off that groan worthy joke. Are you kidding me with this? Well that's convenient. Wow they forgot which porcupines had which accents I swear they switched between them. Of course nothing is going to happen. That ending was so anti-climatic. There was really nothing special this story had to offer. I once loved Richard Rich's work, but with these films he has really ruined himself. I hope he can recover and make something worthwhile again.

I remember watching the first even though I didn't particularly like Kristen Stewart. It ended up being a pretty decent film. Nothing all that great, but it was a good watch. Now that she isn't in this I may end up liking it more than the first one. It only has a handful of people from the first film too. This is Cedric Nicolas-Troyan's first major film. He hasn't done much else. Evan Spiliotopoulos has written many of Disney's sequels and live Action films. Hercules was his best one while many were not so good. Craig Mazin has written many films. Most of which are parody films and The Hangover films. It's going to be interesting to see how this goes. That's an interesting beginning. So far this is pretty dark. That was kind of cool though. So basically this is the live action Frozen? Love as a sin! I just couldn't survive that. Well that was quick. I mean not for them maybe, but surely for us viewers. That's a fairly cool fight. No way did that just happen! Ah so this is before and after the first movie. Looks like a few of the returnees are pretty much just glorified cameos. I always like it when a PG-13 fight is fairly brutal. Wait what!? Okay that is an interesting twist of events. I love the design of the goblins! The background animals are really creative and unique. That's a badass mount. I had a feeling that was the case. Nice I didn't see that coming. It's about time! Was that supposed to be a twist. I knew that happened from the very beginning. That was a pretty cool moment. The ending was alright. There is a brief scene after the credits, but it really doesn't do anything storywise. Honestly this is either just as decent as the first or slightly better. It's pretty to look at though. Also I admired many of the characters. It's worth checking out for sure.

Sharks usually make for fun movies. There have been misses though with lame Jaws sequels and ones like Shark Night 3D. The premise here though sounds pretty interesting. Plus the cast is small, but well put together. The only other film I saw by Johannes Roberts was the decent Storage 24. I haven't seen anything from Ernest Riera. Ah we get a little backstory there. So we get a little depth to one of them. It's funny that this comes out the same year as The Shallows and they are the opposite of each other. Be afraid be very afraid. I mean you are in a horror/thriller. Well there is no way of getting that now. Oh man that's scary! Yeah I will never do that. She is crazy to try that! Man the tension keeps making me gasp. Yikes that was quick! It can never be that simple. Well damn! This is so nerve wrecking. All of those injuries look so painful! Okay that was wicked cool. It kind of reminded me of one of the scenes from Pitch Black. Damn was sick! That ending was really well done. This is one of those PG-13 style horror films that actually works. The tension puts you on the edge of your seat. I kept wondering what would happen next. The sharks were terrifying. The acting was great. The characters were likable. I definitely recommend checking this one out if you're looking for a new good shark/battle for survival movie.

I have never seen this one. I figured I should go ahead and give it a shot. I find it crazy that a Wes Craven movie has such a low rating (besides Cursed anyways). The cast itself is pretty good. It's crazy that Eddie Murphy wrote some of this one. Is it maybe not considered good because Charles Murphy wrote some of this!? He wrote some of Norbit and you saw how that turned out. This is the only credit Vernon Lynch has ever had. Michael Lucker is mostly known for writing kids cartoon films that aren't all that great. Chris Parker worked on Mulan II with him. He also did Heaven is for Real and Battle of the Year both of which I actually loved. The lore is definitely intriguing although a slight bit silly. I see dead people everywhere. Ah so he is one of those kind of vampires. Thank goodness it goes against the typical film like these. I was wondering why she was so hardcore about the snoring haha. Wait he can heal his clothes as well? That guy had better luck in Nightmare on Elm Street. I think the make up effects are actually not too bad. Oh damn that was messed up, but it was also kind of funny. Those are definitely not the kind of roaches out there. This is definitely pretty goofy. That would have been too easy. She is a terrible roommate, but she is damn attractive. Ah they threw in Eddie Murphy taking on makeup effects as usual. This is the weirdest sermon, but then again it kind of proves that a lot of people don't listen to the actual words. Allen Payne is so underrated. If you didn't know that was Eddie Murphy then you wouldn't even guess. He pulls off that accent so well. How convenient that she picks red and black. You know I have to wonder how I would feel about getting bit like that. That last confrontation was probably some of the best stuff in the whole movie. The ending was different than I expected and actually kind of cool. So all in all it's not a great or particularly good movie. It's watchable and has it's moments though. I wouldn't watch it again though.

I was curious to see how they will parody The Purge. I do like the actors here. I haven't heard anything good about this one, but I am a glutton for punishment. I like to see and judge things for myself. I have seen two other films by Deon Taylor called Chain Letter and Dead Tone. I enjoyed Chain Letter to an extent, but Dead Tone lives up to it's name sadly. This is the first film credit for Nicole DeMasi. That opening was pretty lame. Rich people don't Purge? Really have the writers not seen the actual movies? Stereotyping among your own race doesn't seem all that funny. Really the vampire thing is really stupid. White people are just so ignorant these days. So far it's just a typical, bland comedy. Lol what the hell was with that fourth wall breaking part there? I have to say they are doing a decent job reflecting the actual Purge movie. I mean in that sense it's doing it's job. Besides that it's kind of boring. Did he say Donald Trump and then Fetty Wap? Okay then. That guy has such an awful accent that I can't figure out what he is supposed to be. Oh wow that was unexpected! This guy's reason is just as hilarious as the girl from Purge: Election Year because of a chocolate bar haha. Okay that was just ridiculous. That's messed up. I have to say that now that stuff is happening it's much more interesting. I swear this guy has multiple personalities when his mask is on or off. Oh wow people with vendettas are coming out the woodwork lol. That ending was kind of amusing. It may not be a great film, but I would honestly watch a sequel if it happened. The first half was a bit boring. I did find that the second half was rather enjoyable even if a bit over the top.

I have been wanting to watch this for some time. I don't know why it has taking me so long. These two are always hilarious if you ask me. Whenever we had a screening for this it was hilarious because people apparently don't know how to say Keanu. I guess they forgot all about the actor with the same name. Anyways I adore cats as well so I was really curious. I have heard many good things about this surprisingly. Peter Atencio also directed their sketch series which is definitely a plus here. He also directed another movie that I was going to watch, but I think I got distracted from it. Jordan Peele takes on some of the writing here. Alex Rubens also writes after working on their sketch show as well. This music in the opening is just epic. Also this whole scene is actually pretty well choreographed and funny. I don't know how I would feel about that. Those are certainly some creative pictures. Haha Blips I can't believe it's actually a real thing out there. OMG what a name for a strip club lol! With a name like that I wouldn't blame him. Okay he did that perfectly lol. The each have some unique personalities that's for sure. Haha white people are crazy sometimes I swear. Okay those were some pretty funny references. I don't know how he is doing this so well. Holy crap that was crazy! Trying to make something disturbing as a romantic gesture is kind of hilarious. Uh oh it's about to get crazy. Oh wow I can't believe that actually happened. That's too cool! That reference is perfect. These two are killing it with these jokes! I have to admit I did not see that coming. Ah I had forgotten about that. Wow haha! That would be the most adorable disease ever if it's a real one! There is a quick after the credits scene here too. I loved this. It's really fun and funny. The characters are all interesting and different. The gags and movie references are perfect. These guys are hilarious and I hope they continue doing what they're doing. If you love cats and this comedy duo I highly recommend this one.

So this is the latest installment in the Barbershop series so I watched all the others this weekend to be able to check this one out. Malcolm D. Lee has directed mediocre to average films with nothing particularly all that memorable. This is the first film from both the writers. I am glad to see many people return to the series. I miss some of the ones who didn't though I do like the new additions. I swear they changed his son's name in this entry. I could have sworn it was like Cody and now it's Jalen. I wonder why they changed his hair. That was a part of Eddie's character. Isaac is back which I think is pretty cool. I wish it was more than a glorified cameo though. That's an interesting new look to the shop. The gang element is an interesting idea for the plot. I love Nicki Minaj screw all the haters haha. Oh yeah there is no privacy if you are in public. Okay J.D. has an interesting update for his character. So Jimmy is once again not working at the shop and is in a suit again. In fact he is once again a politician. Watermelon flavored fried chicken. Gangs are about as stupid as racism and this movie surely proves that for me. That was pretty intense. That top looks like just a bra. This feels a bit like Chi-raq in a way. If only the whole world could be like that. Oh my Eve! Well that's problematic. Way to make a good moment spiral. This has a lot more drama than the others did, but I actually like it for that. I think the stuff between Ice Cube and Common's characters is supposed to reflect the beef they had in real life. The ending was pretty nice. The scene during the credits was pretty amusing as well. I have to say this is honestly my favorite of the series. It's funny, well acted, and has more seriousness to it. I loved the new characters as well as seeing all the old characters. If you are a fan of the series I would say go check this one out.